i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I love you.
Bad choice
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
