i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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