Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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