I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize