wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
