it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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