He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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