He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize