i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
