Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize