My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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