Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
