You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
