I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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