it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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