i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
