The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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