"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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