Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
