no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize