so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
