I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
