ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
