U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
