My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
