It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
