He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
