you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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