suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
