using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
my god I love twenty year old dicks
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
