last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
