I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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