Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
