do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
