We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
