so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
What a dumb baby whore.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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