BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
