New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
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