Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
