Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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