What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You pole danced in your parka.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize