why didn't you poke me back
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
