Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
