I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
