I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
