You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
