mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
