Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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