its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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