dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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