how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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