Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
