Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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