four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
It's shark week go big or go home
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
