belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i permit you to call me
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize