He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Im part way to drunk.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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