I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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