I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
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