We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You're a waste of cheezeits
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
