Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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