If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
