I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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