So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
It's never too late to be topless.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
