office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
