I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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