i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Randomize
