Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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