we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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