So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Use "feeling words"
Yay
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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