I feel great
I just peed on a car
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
