We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
