I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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