sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
