We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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