I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize