I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I have tasted many bathrooms
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
