Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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